Stop and Reflect

It's been raining here for the past three days. In Boise! In case you didn't know, Boise has an arid climate and gets, like, 2 inches of rain a year (exaggeration)...so this is a new phenomenon for me!

It wouldn't bother me that much-honestly, it reminds me of the East Coast, so I like to pretend I am back home-if I hadn't committed to my daily 1.5 hour walk the day before this downpour began. "How convenient!" says lazy Holly.

When Phil and I moved to Boise, I knew that my responsibility was to get a good paying job. Unfortunately, Phil's salary, while including benefits, life insurance, etc, would still put us well below the poverty line if we just lived off of that, so I began the desk job hunt.

I sent over 400 resumes to desk jobs I didn't want in the span of 6 months. Jobs that all paid under $30,000 a year. I felt like I was beginning to lose it. I had never been more stressed in my life. Granted, I was offered and worked three of those 400 jobs (admin at a credit union, admin at a fiber optics plant and Patron Services Manager with the Philharmonic) and have always been grateful for that. But I'm not one for settling down (as many of you have already known), especially when that something is not what I went to school for six years for! The gigs I would get in Boise would pay next to nothing and the gigs I didn't get were because I wasn't in the Boise Philharmonic (which must mean I suck). The negativity was no longer skin deep, it was starting to sink in...

What happened next was a shock to everyone. Basically here's what happened:

Phil and I went to Salt Lake City for my good friend's birthday and I came back with a job as clarinetist with the Les Miserables 25th Anniversary US Tour. Yes, just like that. My friend wanted to continue his grad work and he passed the Les Mis torch to me. After a year of stress, doubt, and low self esteem...my years of hard work and closely knit friendships trumped all else.

The time I spent in Boise was the first time I really felt like I was losing a grip on my core beliefs: Appreciate and strengthen what and who you have in your life and you will be blessed. I was becoming selfish and jealous of others. I was not letting Phil enjoy his achievements because he was too worried about my well being.

I feel like I was given a Get Out of Jail Free card this time around. I had enough karma saved up to get one freebie. I'll never let myself get to that point again!