Thankful...in Dayton?

I don't know how normal people behave, but if I try to feign happiness when I'm actually miserable, I tend to have a breakdown within 72 hours. For me, the term "staying positive" doesn't always work! I can be happy with what I have in my life and be aware that I am blessed, but sometimes you just have to say "this f*ing sucks". However, the hardest part for me is getting back on the train once I admit this. I'd much rather just pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep until I'm in the next city...alas, that's not how life works.

As upsetting as being in Dayton is during Thanksgiving while my husband is 1,900 miles away, I have so much to be thankful for. I got married this year to my best friend and love of my life, I got a job that is in my career path, I get to travel the country, I have amazing friends (new and old!) and I feel myself getting stronger and more confident in myself every day. These are the things I need to focus on when I get dropped in a crappy city or when I start to doubt myself. 

 

Meditation Saved My Life

Hellllo Appleton, Wisconsin! What a lovely town. Believe or not, this city of 80,000 people has a state of the art concert hall (one of the nicer ones I have seen so far) with some amazing acoustics!

Last week was Toledo, Ohio...a completely different story. On Friday night during the show my wallet was stolen from my green room, they caught the guy in a stolen car a few hours later. I was at the police station until 4am. But silver lining! I got everything back!

The robbery plus money woes plus a whole lot of internalized insecurities regarding my musicianship has left me a big ol ball of stress. I got a massage on Tuesday which was lovely, but what has really helped is meditation 20 minutes a day. It is my time to sit and just "be". Sometimes I speak words of encouragement, sometimes I just sit and take in my surroundings. After doing this, I feel confident and strong and usually play a really great show. It helps me accept that I will never have a perfect show, and nobody around me will either, so when that little blip does occur, I flinch, brush it off, and move on.

Paranoia

Do you ever feel like, for whatever reason, you are trying your absolute best to do the best job you can and it never seems to be good enough for some people?..and then you are very aware of those people's actions and think they are all directed toward you?...and then you internalize all that negative energy, and then you start to pick apart every thing you do until you lose sight of what is really important?

Welcome to my week! Any words of wisdom to break this cycle would be much appreciated!

I Heart Providence.

Well here I am back on the road with Les Mis!




I would be lying if I said it was easier to leave my husband this time around. It's not so much the time apart as it is the potential for something terrible to happen with me not being there. I will not be back in Boise until July, 2012. I really think it's the most counter intuitive thing to voluntarily walk away from the person you love more than anybody on this Earth for any long period of time. A week before my departure, I didn't think I was going to be able to do it! Thankfully, my better half called me a ding dong and reassured me that he would be fine. 




The plane ride (Boise -> Chicago -> Providence) was rough as I have four instruments to lug around and two 40lb suitcases, but once I got into the city, I fell in love. This place is absolutely lovely. We are in a Marriott downtown about 7 blocks from the theater, which is fabulous as well. Johnson and Wales culinary institute is right down the street, so the food choices here are pretty amazing. My bestie/MOH Christina's parents will be the first of my family to see the show, so I am really excited for them to see it. Here are some pictures so far!:

Occupy Providence

View from my hotel room. Hello shopping mall!

View of theater from my seat in the pit

I want to go a UTI degree!